President Bush and My Pants

Hello and sparkly Monday to one and all!

Well, Colin Powell has resigned, and it is likely that Condoleeza Rice will take his place. Because you have to replace a black person with a black person, everybody knows that. Even our President.

Is it just me, or are there an awful lot of cabinet members resigning? I believe it’s something like six so far, but I could be wrong on that. I am pretty well known for “making shit up” and “talking directly out of my asshole”. That’s what makes me so lovable! And boy am I lovable. I am up to my eyeballs here in lovability. And bullshit.

I will be the palate cleansing sorbet of this blog, bringing you 100% unproven “facts” and lots of opinions based on nothing even remotely resembling research or actual knowledge, in between bites of well thought out entries, supported by links to news organization articles and the like. If I were a sorbet I would be blue razzberry, a color and flavor not found in nature!

It seems that every damn day in the news there has been something about how troops are “pushing deeper” into Falluja. Just how big is Falluja, and when will the troops be finished plumbing its depths? I just saw the title to a NYT article, which states that Falluja has been captured, and poses the question, “what’s next?” That’s like saying “those chicken strips were really tasty*, but, *brushes crumbs from mouth*, what’s next?”

*Can you tell I had Wendy’s for lunch? And that I’m still hungry?

I wrote about Falluja once before, and tried searching to find a map of Iraq, so I could see where the city is in relation to Baghdad, etc., and all I got was a suggestion to try the Yellow Pages under “Falluja”. Thank you, ask.com. You are an embarrassment to search engines everywhere.

In my last post, I blamed President Bush for the sudden and inexplicable popularity of patriotic ribbon magnets. I think maybe that’s a good thing to do in each of my entries, because if there is one thing I love it is placing the blame for annoying little things on my own stupidity on the heads of those who are responsible. I would blame God, but he's not a big blog-reader, and has blocked me on AIM.

I BLAME PRESIDENT BUSH for the fact that the cuff on my left pantleg came unstitched. It certainly couldn't have happened because I bought these pants at Marshall's.

Blogger constantly confuses me, so I am typing this alternately into MS Word and the Blogger Create Post field to make 100% sure that I leave out key words and/or generally fuck this up.

Woo**!

** I don't know why, but typing that always makes me laugh.

Easily confused and easily amused,
Kristin