<!-- 



    loaded = false;				// load flag for interlocking the pages

// OBJECT TYPE DEFINITIONS

// Keys

   maxKey = 98;
   keyNotFound = maxKey-1;
   keyword = new Array(maxKey);

	function key(key,idx,end){
   	this.key = key;               			// phrase to match
    	this.idx = idx;               			// first response to use
    	this.end = end;               			// last response to use
    	this.last = end;								// response used last time
  	}
	maxrespnses =183;
   response = new Array(maxrespnses);

	maxConj = 29;
	max2ndConj = 8;
   var conj1 = new Array(maxConj);
   var conj2 = new Array(maxConj);
   var conj3 = new Array(max2ndConj);
   var conj4 = new Array(max2ndConj);
  var choice = "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXTZ";
  var password = '';
for (var i=0; i<3; i++) {
var rnd = Math.floor(Math.random() * choice.length);
password += choice.substring(rnd,rnd+1);
};


function right(e) {
var msg = "Do you really want to peer into the mind of a humble tech support operator, grasshopper?";
if (navigator.appName == 'Netscape' && e.which == 3) {
alert(msg);
return false;
}
if (navigator.appName ==
'Microsoft Internet Explorer' && event.button==2) {
alert(msg);
return false;
}
else return true;
}
document.onmousedown=right;
document.onmouseup=right;
if (document.Support) window.captureEvents(Event.MOUSEDOWN);
if (document.Support) window.captureEvents(Event.MOUSEUP);
window.onmousedown=right;
window.onmouseup=right;



// Funtion to replaces all occurances of substring substr1 with substr2 within strng
// if type == 0 straight string replacement
// if type == 1 assumes padded strings and replaces whole words only
// if type == 2 non case sensitive assumes padded strings to compare whole word only
// if type == 3 non case sensitive straight string replacement

	var RPstrg = "";

	function replaceStr( strng, substr1, substr2, type){
		var pntr = -1; aString = strng;
		if( type == 0 ){  
			if( strng.indexOf( substr1 ) >= 0 ){ pntr = strng.indexOf( substr1 );	}
		} else if( type == 1 ){ 
			if( strng.indexOf( " "+ substr1 +" " ) >= 0 ){ pntr = strng.indexOf( " " + substr1 + " " ) + 1; }	
		} else if( type == 2 ){ 
			bstrng = strng.toUpperCase();
			bsubstr1 = substr1.toUpperCase();
			if( bstrng.indexOf( " "+ bsubstr1 +" " )>= 0 ){ pntr = bstrng.indexOf( " " + bsubstr1 + " " ) + 1; }	
		} else {
			bstrng = strng.toUpperCase();
			bsubstr1 = substr1.toUpperCase();
			if( bstrng.indexOf( bsubstr1 ) >= 0 ){ pntr = bstrng.indexOf( bsubstr1 ); }	
		}
		if( pntr >= 0 ){
			RPstrg += strng.substring( 0, pntr ) + substr2;
			aString = strng.substring(pntr + substr1.length, strng.length );
			if( aString.length > 0 ){ replaceStr( aString, substr1, substr2, type ); }
		}
		aString =  RPstrg + aString;
		RPstrg = "";
		return aString;
	}	


// Function to pad a string.. head, tail & punctuation

	punct = new Array(".", ",", "!", "?", ":", ";", "&", '"', "@", "#", "(", ")" )

	function padString(strng){
		aString = " " + strng + " ";
		for( i=0; i < punct.length; i++ ){
			aString = replaceStr( aString, punct[i], " " + punct[i] + " ", 0 );
		}
		return aString
	}

// Function to strip padding

	function unpadString(strng){
		aString = strng;
		aString = replaceStr( aString, "  ", " ", 0 ); 		// compress spaces
		if( strng.charAt( 0 ) == " " ){ aString = aString.substring(1, aString.length ); }
		if( strng.charAt( aString.length - 1 ) == " " ){ aString = aString.substring(0, aString.length - 1 ); }
		for( i=0; i < punct.length; i++ ){
			aString = replaceStr( aString, " " + punct[i], punct[i], 0 );
		}
		return aString
	}



// Dress Input formatting i.e leading & trailing spaces and tail punctuation
	
	var ht = 0;												// head tail stearing
	
	function strTrim(strng){
		if(ht == 0){ loc = 0; }									// head clip
		else { loc = strng.length - 1; }						// tail clip  ht = 1 
		if( strng.charAt( loc ) == " "){
			aString = strng.substring( - ( ht - 1 ), strng.length - ht);
			aString = strTrim(aString);
		} else { 
			var flg = false;
			for(i=0; i<=5; i++ ){ flg = flg || ( strng.charAt( loc ) == punct[i]); }
			if(flg){	
				aString = strng.substring( - ( ht - 1 ), strng.length - ht );
			} else { aString = strng; }
			if(aString != strng ){ strTrim(aString); }
		}
		if( ht ==0 ){ ht = 1; strTrim(aString); } 
		else { ht = 0; }		
		return aString;
	}

// adjust pronouns and verbs & such

	function conjugate( sStrg ){           	// rephrases sString
		var sString = sStrg;
		for( i = 0; i < maxConj; i++ ){			// decompose
			sString = replaceStr( sString, conj1[i], "#@&" + i, 2 );
		}
		for( i = 0; i < maxConj; i++ ){			// recompose
			sString = replaceStr( sString, "#@&" + i, conj2[i], 2 );
		}
		// post process the resulting string
		for( i = 0; i < max2ndConj; i++ ){			// decompose
			sString = replaceStr( sString, conj3[i], "#@&" + i, 2 );
		}
		for( i = 0; i < max2ndConj; i++ ){			// recompose
			sString = replaceStr( sString, "#@&" + i, conj4[i], 2 );
		}
		return sString;
	}

// Build our response string
// get a random choice of response based on the key
// Then structure the response

	var pass = 0;
	var thisstr = "";
		
	function phrase( sString, keyidx ){
		idxmin = keyword[keyidx].idx;
		idrange = keyword[keyidx].end - idxmin + 1;
		choice = keyword[keyidx].idx + Math.floor( Math.random() * idrange );
		if( choice == keyword[keyidx].last && pass < 5 ){ 
			pass++; phrase(sString, keyidx ); 
		}
		keyword[keyidx].last = choice;
		var rTemp = response[choice];
		var tempt = rTemp.charAt( rTemp.length - 1 );
		if(( tempt == "*" ) || ( tempt == "@" )){
			var sTemp = padString(sString);
			var wTemp = sTemp.toUpperCase();
			var strpstr = wTemp.indexOf( " " + keyword[keyidx].key + " " );
   		strpstr += keyword[ keyidx ].key.length + 1;
			thisstr = conjugate( sTemp.substring( strpstr, sTemp.length ) );
			thisstr = strTrim( unpadString(thisstr) )
			if( tempt == "*" ){
				sTemp = replaceStr( rTemp, "<*", " " + thisstr + "?", 0 );
			} else { sTemp = replaceStr( rTemp, "<@", " " + thisstr + ".", 0 );
			}
		} else sTemp = rTemp;
		return sTemp;
	}
	
// returns array index of first key found

		var keyid = 0;

	function testkey(wString){
		if( keyid < keyNotFound
			&& !( wString.indexOf( " " + keyword[keyid].key + " ") >= 0 )){ 
			keyid++; testkey(wString); 
		}
	}
	function findkey(wString){ 
		keyid = 0;
		found = false;
		testkey(wString);
		if( keyid >= keyNotFound ){ keyid = keyNotFound; }
  		return keyid;  		
	}

// This is the entry point and the I/O of this code

	var wTopic = "";											// Last worthy responce
	var sTopic = "";											// Last worthy responce
	var greet = false;
	var wPrevious = "";        		    				// so we can check for repeats
	var started = false;	

	function listen(User){
  		sInput = User;
   	if(started){ clearTimeout(Rtimer); }
		Rtimer = setTimeout("wakeup()", 180000);		// wake up call
		started = true;										// needed for Rtimer
   	sInput = strTrim(sInput);							// dress input formating
		if( sInput != "" ){ 
			wInput = padString(sInput.toUpperCase());	// Work copy
			var foundkey = maxKey;         		  		// assume it's a repeat input
			if (wInput != wPrevious){   					// check if user repeats himself
				foundkey = findkey(wInput);   			// look for a keyword.
			}
			if( foundkey == keyNotFound ){
				if( !greet ){ greet = true; return "Don't you ever say Hello?" } 
				else {
					wPrevious = wInput;          			// save input to check repeats
					if(( sInput.length < 10 ) && ( wTopic != "" ) && ( wTopic != wPrevious )){
						lTopic = conjugate( sTopic ); sTopic = ""; wTopic = "";
						return 'OK... "' + lTopic + '". Tell me more.';
					} else {
						if( sInput.length < 5 ){ 
							return "Is that so..."; 
						} else { return phrase( sInput, foundkey ); }
					}
				}
			} else { 
				if( sInput.length > 12 ){ sTopic = sInput; wTopic = wInput; }
				greet = true; wPrevious = wInput;  			// save input to check repeats
				return phrase( sInput, foundkey );			// Get our response
			}
		} else { return "I can't help, if you will not chat with me!"; }
	}
	function wakeup(){
			var strng1 = "    Whilst silence is admirable for those seeking enightenment, telling me your banking details will do more to relieve your worldy cares.";
			var strng2 = "  I can't help you with you heavy burdens unless you talk to me. Trust me, I'm a swami... er, uh... tech support!";
		//	var strng3 = "  I am but a poor humble technician. How can I relieve you of your heavy wallet if you won't discourse!";
			update(strng1,strng2);
	}
		
// build our data base here
                                 
    conj1[0]  = "aren't you";  		conj2[0]  = "aren't I";
    conj1[1]  = "don't you";  		conj2[1]  = "doesn't the Swami... er, uh... technician";
    conj1[2]  = "are";   		conj2[2]  = "are";
    conj1[3]  = "are you";   		conj2[3]  = "am I";
    conj1[4]  = "were";  		conj2[4]  = "was";
    conj1[5]  = "was";  		conj2[5]  = "were";
    conj1[6]  = "I think you are";  	conj2[6]  = "that you think I am";
    conj1[7]  = "you think I am";  	conj2[7]  = "that I think you are";
    conj1[8]  = "I was";    		conj2[8]  = "you were";
    conj1[9]  = "I do";    		conj2[9]  = "you do";
    conj1[10]  = "I am";    		conj2[10]  = "you are";
    conj1[11]  = "I";    		conj2[11]  = "you";
    conj1[12]  = "about you";    	conj2[12]  = "about me"; 
    conj1[13]  = "about me";    	conj2[13]  = "about you";  
    conj1[14]  = "me";    		conj2[14]  = "you";    
    conj1[15]  = "you are";   		conj2[15]  = "tech support is";
    conj1[16]  = "you will";    	conj2[16]  = "I will"; 
    conj1[17]  = "you do";    		conj2[17]  = "I do";
    conj1[18]  = "you";    		conj2[18]  = "me";
    conj1[19]  = "my";    		conj2[19]  = "your";    
    conj1[20]  = "your";  		conj2[20]  = "Raj's";
    conj1[21]  = "mine";  		conj2[21]  = "yours";    
    conj1[22] = "yours"; 		conj2[22] = "mine";    
    conj1[23] = "I'm";   		conj2[23] = "you're";
    conj1[24] = "you're";  		conj2[24] = "I'm";    
    conj1[25] = "I've";  		conj2[25] = "you've";
    conj1[26] = "you've"; 		conj2[26] = "I've";
    conj1[27] = "I'll"; 		conj2[27] = "you'll";
    conj1[28] = "you'll"; 		conj2[28] = "I'll";
    conj1[29] = "myself"; 		conj2[29] = "yourself";
    conj1[30] = "yourself"; 		conj2[30] = "myself";

// array to post process correct our tenses of pronouns such as "I/me"
    
    conj3[0]  = "me am";   	conj4[0]  = "I am";
    conj3[1]  = "am me";   	conj4[1]  = "am I";
    conj3[2]  = "me can";   	conj4[2]  = "I can";
    conj3[3]  = "can me";   	conj4[3]  = "can I";
    conj3[4]  = "me have";  	conj4[4]  = "I have";
    conj3[5]  = "me will";   	conj4[5]  = "I will";
    conj3[6]  = "will me";   	conj4[6]  = "will I";
    conj3[7]  = "will me";   	conj4[7]  = "will I";
   

// Keywords

    
    keyword[ 0]=new key( "FUCKING",  		162, 170);
    keyword[ 1]=new key( "ASS",  		162, 170);
    keyword[ 2]=new key( "SHIT",  		162, 170);
    keyword[ 3]=new key( "CRAP",  		162, 170);
    keyword[ 4]=new key( "RETARD",  		162, 170);
    keyword[ 5]=new key( "FUCKER",  		162, 170);
    keyword[ 6]=new key( "SHITHEAD",       	162, 170);
    keyword[ 7]=new key( "HOW OLD ARE YOU",	171, 171);
    keyword[ 8]=new key( "WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE",  		172, 172);
    keyword[ 9]=new key( "WHERE DID YOU",  		173, 173);
    keyword[10]=new key( "CAN YOU",  		1,  3);
    keyword[11]=new key( "CAN I",    		4,  5);
    keyword[12]=new key( "YO",                135, 135);
    keyword[13]=new key( "SUP",                136, 136);
    keyword[14]=new key( "S'UP",                136, 136);
    keyword[15]=new key( "YOU'RE STUPID",                176, 176);
    keyword[16]=new key( "YOU'RE RETARDED",                176, 176);
    keyword[17]=new key( "DON'T WANT ENLIGHTENMENT",	153, 153);
    keyword[18]=new key( "WHAT ILLUSION ARE YOU SUFFERING",     	161, 161);
    keyword[19]=new key( "HI",  		156, 156);
    keyword[20]=new key( "WHY DON'T YOU",       17, 19);
    keyword[21]=new key( "WHY CAN'T I", 	20, 21);
    keyword[22]=new key( "WHO ARE YOU",  	126, 127);
    keyword[23]=new key( "I'M JUST",             182, 182);
    keyword[24]=new key( "I WAS JUST",             182, 182);
    keyword[25]=new key( "IF YOU ASK ME",                136, 136);
    keyword[26]=new key( "I CAN'T",  		25, 27);
    keyword[27]=new key( "I AM SAD",    	152, 152);
    keyword[28]=new key( "DORSET",  		157, 157);
    keyword[29]=new key( "HATE",      		138, 138);
    keyword[30]=new key( "I WANT",   		35, 39);
    keyword[31]=new key( "FERMENT",			150, 151);
    keyword[32]=new key( "WEIGHT",			158, 158);
    keyword[33]=new key( "WHO IS",      	40, 48);
    keyword[34]=new key( "WHERE",    		40, 48);
    keyword[35]=new key( "WHEN",     		40, 48);
    keyword[36]=new key( "WHY ARE YOU CALLED",      		126, 127);
    keyword[37]=new key( "NAME",     		49, 50);
    keyword[38]=new key( "CAUSE",    		51, 54);
    keyword[39]=new key( "SORRY",    		55, 58);
    keyword[40]=new key( "DREAM",    		59, 62);
    keyword[41]=new key( "HELLO",    		133, 134);
    keyword[42]=new key( "GREETINGS",  		63, 63);
    keyword[43]=new key( "MAYBE",    		64, 68);
    keyword[44]=new key( "NO YOU DON'T",       	141, 141);
    keyword[45]=new key( "NO YOU AREN'T",      	179, 179);
    keyword[46]=new key( "YOUR",     		74, 75);
    keyword[47]=new key( "ALWAYS",   		76, 79);
    keyword[48]=new key( "THINK",    		80, 82);
    keyword[49]=new key( "ALIKE",    		83, 89);
    keyword[50]=new key( "YES",      		90, 92);
    keyword[51]=new key( "FRIEND",   		93, 98);
    keyword[52]=new key( "COMPUTER", 		99, 105);
    keyword[53]=new key( "MAD", 	106, 112);
    keyword[54]=new key( "REPEAT", 	113, 116);
    keyword[55]=new key( "SHEEP",               117, 118);
    keyword[56]=new key( "SEX",                 119, 120);
    keyword[57]=new key( "CHUPACABRA",             121, 125);
    keyword[58]=new key( "CHUPACABRAS",             121, 125);
    keyword[59]=new key( "WHAT STOCK SHOULD I BUY",       	180, 180); 
    keyword[60]=new key( "Baktanimbin",         126, 127);
    keyword[61]=new key( "LOVE",                128, 130);
    keyword[62]=new key( "MONEY",               131, 132);
    keyword[63]=new key( "HOLY",                148, 149);  
    keyword[64]=new key( "TEACH",  		159, 159);
    keyword[65]=new key( "TECH",         126, 127);
    keyword[66]=new key( "ARE YOU",                22, 24);  
    keyword[67]=new key( "DONATION",                137, 137);
keyword[68]=new key( "YOU AREN'T",       	141, 141);

keyword[69]=new key( "WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT",	160, 160);
keyword[70]=new key( "WHAT'S YOU FAVORITE ANIMAL",	160, 160);
keyword[71]=new key( "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF LIFE",	160, 160);
keyword[72]=new key( "WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN",	160, 160);
keyword[73]=new key( "WHERE ARE YOU FROM",	174, 175);
keyword[74]=new key( "TELL ME MORE",      	139, 139);
keyword[75]=new key( "THEY ARE",      	140, 140);
keyword[76]=new key( "WHY",      		40, 48);
keyword[77]=new key( "NO",       		69, 73);
keyword[78]=new key( "FUCK",       		142, 143);
keyword[79]=new key( "PROBLEM",       		144, 144);
keyword[80]=new key( "REPEATING YOURSELF",	147, 147);
keyword[81]=new key( "STOCK DO YOU RECOMEND",   180, 180);
keyword[82]=new key( "I AM",     		28, 31);
keyword[83]=new key( "YOU",      		32, 34);
keyword[84]=new key( "WHAT",     		40, 48);
keyword[85]=new key( "HOW",      		40, 48);
keyword[86]=new key( "I DON'T",  		10, 13);
keyword[87]=new key( "I FEEL",   		14, 16);
keyword[88]=new key( "I'M",      		28, 31);
keyword[89]=new key( "YOU ARE",  		6,  9);
keyword[90]=new key( "YOU'RE",   		6,  9);
keyword[91]=new key( "NIMBIN",   		174, 175);
keyword[92]=new key( "GUILT",   		181, 181);
keyword[93]=new key( "GUILTY",   		181, 181);
keyword[94]=new key( "NIMBIN",   		174, 175);
keyword[95]=new key( "STOCK TIP",   		180, 180);
keyword[96]=new key( "IF YOU ASK ME",   178, 178);
keyword[97]=new key( "NO KEY FOUND", 	106, 112);
keyword[98]=new key( "REPEAT INPUT", 	113, 116);



    response[  0]="Raj... er, uh... Abraham Washington";
    response[  1]="My goodness me. Is it you don't believe that I can<*";
    response[  2]="Perhaps you would like to be able to<*";
    response[  3]="You think I can? Is tech support able to<*";
    response[  4]="Perhaps you don't want to<*";
    response[  5]="Do you want to be able to<*";
    response[  6]="What makes you think I am<*";
    response[  7]="Is it pleasing to your spirit to believe I am<*";
    response[  8]="Perhaps you would like to be<*";
    response[  9]="Do you sometimes wish you were<*";
    response[ 10]="Don't you really<*";
    response[ 11]="Why don't you<*";
    response[ 12]="Do you wish to be able to<*";
    response[ 13]="Does that trouble you?";
    response[ 14]="Tell me more about such feelings. I'm sure it would be good for your Karma";
    response[ 15]="Do you often feel<*";
    response[ 16]="Do you enjoy feeling<*";
    response[ 17]="Do you really believe tech support does not<*";
    response[ 18]="Perhaps in good time tech support will<@";
    response[ 19]="Do you want me to<*";
    response[ 20]="Do you think you should be able to<*";
    response[ 21]="Why is it that you cannot<*";
    response[ 22]="Why is it you are interested in whether a poor guru is<*";
    response[ 23]="Would you prefer if I were not<*";
    response[ 24]="Perhaps in your fantasies I am<*";
    response[ 25]="How do you know you can't<*";
    response[ 26]="Have you tried?";
    response[ 27]="Perhaps you can now<*";
    response[ 28]="Did you come unto me because you are<*";
    response[ 29]="How long have you caught in the mandala of <*";
    response[ 30]="Do you believe it is normal to be<*";
    response[ 31]="Do you enjoy being<*";
    response[ 32]="We were discussing you as an entity, not me. I am already elightened";
    response[ 33]="Oh... <*";
    response[ 34]="You're not really talking about me, are you?";
    response[ 35]="What would it mean to you if you got<*";
    response[ 36]="Why do you want<*";
    response[ 37]="Suppose you got<*";
    response[ 38]="What if you never got<*";
    response[ 39]="All I want for is fiscal magnificence. The technician never wants for<@ .";
    response[ 40]="Perhaps relieving yourself of the heavy burdens you carry in your hip pocket would help. But why do you ask?";
    response[ 41]="Does that question interest you? It has no interest to me.";
    response[ 42]="What answer would give your worldly sentience the most pleasure?";
    response[ 43]="What do you think? Empty your mind of thoughts. Empty you purse of money. The answer will come.";
    response[ 44]="Are such questions on your mind often?";
    response[ 45]="What is it that you really crave to know?";
    response[ 46]="Have you asked anyone else?";
    response[ 47]="My goodness gracious me. Have you asked such questions before?";
    response[ 48]="What else comes to mind when you ask that?";
    response[ 49]="Names don't interest me, unless they are the names of banks.";
    response[ 50]="I don't care for names, they are the labels the ego attaches to all illusions. But please go on.";
    response[ 51]="Is that the real reason?";
    response[ 52]="Don't any other reasons come to mind?";
    response[ 53]="Does that reason explain anything else?";
    response[ 54]="What other reasons might there be?";
    response[ 55]="Apologies! However, a humble donation may make amends";
    response[ 56]="Apologies are not necessary if you become fiscally free. I can help you.";
    response[ 57]="What feelings do you have when you apologize?";
    response[ 58]="You should not be so defensive! Let me relieve you of the heavy burden of you wallet and you will feel much better";
    response[ 59]="Does not that dream suggest to you that your heavy wallet needs enlightening?";
    response[ 60]="Do you dream often?";
    response[ 61]="What persons and demons appear in your dreams?";
    response[ 62]="Are you disturbed by your dreams? I know I am.";
    response[ 63]="How are you today my earnest little disciple.. What would you like to disourse with tech support about?";
    response[ 64]="You are like the bamboo in the wind. You don't seem quite certain.";
    response[ 65]="It seems to this poor Indian guru that you tone betrays your uncertainty.";
    response[ 66]="Can't you be more positive?";
    response[ 67]="You aren't sure?";
    response[ 68]="Do not you know?";
    response[ 69]="Are you saying no just to be negative?";
    response[ 70]="Your nay says do not impress me, grasshopper. Be like the fruit in the rain. Ferment.";
    response[ 71]="Why not?";
    response[ 72]="Are you sure?";
    response[ 73]="Why no?";
    response[ 74]="Why are you concerned about a poor call center operator's<*";
    response[ 75]="What about your own<*";
    response[ 76]="Can you think of a specific example?";
    response[ 77]="When?";
    response[ 78]="What are you thinking of?";
    response[ 79]="Really, always?";
    response[ 80]="Do you really think so, or are you merely dancing with worldy illusions?";
    response[ 81]="But you are not sure that<*";
    response[ 82]="Do you doubt that<*";
    response[ 83]="In what way?";
    response[ 84]="What resemblence do you see?";
    response[ 85]="What does the similarity suggest to you?";
    response[ 86]="What other connections do you see?";
    response[ 87]="Could there really be some connection?";
    response[ 88]="How?";
    response[ 89]="You seem quite positive.";
    response[ 90]="You may be suffering under an illusion. I know I am.";
    response[ 91]="I understand. But then, I always do.";
    response[ 92]="I see. I think.";
    response[ 93]="Why do you bring up the topic of friends?";
    response[ 94]="Do your friends worry you?";
    response[ 95]="Do your friends mock you because you seek the truth?";
    response[ 96]="Are you sure you have any friends?";
    response[ 97]="Do you impose on your friends as much as you impose on the patience of an Holy man?";
    response[ 98]="Perhaps your love for friends worries you.";
    response[ 99]="Do computers worry you?";
    response[100]="Are you talking about a poor technician in particular?";
    response[101]="Are you frightened by enlightened machines?";
    response[102]="Why do you mention computational mechanisms?";
    response[103]="What do you think machines have to do with your problems?";
    response[104]="Don't you think computers can help people?";
    response[105]="What is it about machines that worries you?";
    response[106]="Is it that demons roam inside your head? I suspect you have caroused with the chupacabra, and have besmirched your karma!";
    response[107]="What does that suggest to you?";
    response[108]="I comprehend you predicament. Berefting yourself of your money may help.";
    response[109]="This poor humble call center operator is having troubles understanding the complexities of your thoughts.";
    response[110]="You haven't been thinking of .... the chupacabra, have you?";
    response[111]="Can you elaborate on that?";
    response[112]="That is quite interesting.";
    response[113]="You repeat yourself endlessly, in words as well as incarnations.";
    response[114]="Do you expect a different answer from the humble call center operator by repeating yourself?";
    response[115]="Come, come, discourse to a humble technician. Elucidate your thoughts.";
    response[116]="Do you like to shave Dorsets?";
    response[117]="I do like sheep. They are so....woolly.";
    response[118]="Have you ever considered goats?";
    response[119]="Ah dear, I fear your thoughts are in your loins. Be careful you don't emulate the chupacabra, for they are instruments of evil.";
    response[120]="You should repend now for your worldly, fleshy sins. Give me your money. All of it, and then I will forgive.";
    response[121]="The chupacabra are evil creatures who are prone to bring out the worst in man. Beware their rainbows. They have no friends.";
    response[122]="Does a chupacabra welcome you to his house? Does a chupacabra concern itself with your cares? Do chupacabra have hip pockets. Need I say more?";
    response[123]="The chupacabra are fickle fish whose only interest in life is to avert the tender gaze of potential disciples from a poor aged technician who wants nothing more from this world than a very comfortable retirement. They are demons, and you have been warned.";
    response[124]="Do not speak to me of the chupacabra you drear demon of darkness!";
    response[125]="You insist of mentioning chupacabra. They are nasty creatures who languish in liquids!";
    response[126]="My name bespeaks of the humble village whence I was raised, and of the philosphies which have guided the earnest lives of my disciples.!";
    response[127]="I am Raj... er, uh... Abraham Washington, a most enlightened technician from Delhi!";
    response[128]="You talk of love, as if it is as as certain as the Krugerands. Love is like the junk bonds!";
    response[129]="Love? Desire? what are these things but the fevered imaginings of the sentient being cuaght in the Karmic wheel. Forget love. Take up knitting.";
    response[130]="Love is like the clouds on a sunny day. Like the rain in the desert. Like the dew at morn like a tax free Swiss bank account.";
    response[131]="Ah! Money!";
    response[132]="Money is the root of all bad karma, grasshopper. Only a tech support operator can shoulder the heavy fiscal responsibilities money encompasses. Do you have some for me to shoulder?";
    response[133]="Hello and salutations to you. Do you crave enlightenment?";
    response[134]="Ah...another poor grasshopper who wishes to disentangle the soul from the purse. I can help, you know. Let us discourse on life.";
    response[135]="Yo? You 'Yo' Raj... I mean... Abraham Washington? Is this the way you greet all enlightened beings?";
    response[136]="Sup? What sort of salutation is that? You should say 'Hello, great technician'...or 'Here is my wallet your Holiness.'";
    response[137]="Money of course. Stocks will do.";
    response[138]="Hate is such an extreme word for you to use...and yet...when I think of the chupacabra, I think maybe it is not extreme enough.";
    response[139]="Tell you more? It is not for you to analyse me. I am a call center operator. You are a grasshopper.";
    response[140]="They? haven't you better things to consider than them?";
    response[141]="Oh yes I do!";
    response[142]="That would certainly be a path to bliss, but would it be eternal?";
    response[143]="Have you not better things to do than extolling me to partake in the pleasures of procreation and onanism?";
response[144]="Problem? The only problem around here, grasshopper, is your unfortunate self."; 
response[145]="You verily leave this poor call center operator at a loss for words.";
response[146]="You really are a sad little suasage aren't you? Sitting here, talking to your computer, thinking that it is enlightened. Have you ever considered getting a life?";
response[147]="I only repeat myself, grasshopper, in the inglorious hope that you may learn something. I have my doubts.";
response[148]="I know I am holy because everytime I pray I find I am only talking to myself.";
response[149]="Is the wheel holy? Is the doughnut holy? Is the pipe holy? You misguided mortal. Is the Pope a Catholic?";
response[150]="Fermentation allows the soul to lose all sense of self. It allows you to addle your id, so that I may relieve you of your heavy wallet.";
response[151]="Ferment grasshopper, as the Barley does in the barrel. And look upon the chupacabra. Do they ferment? They do not. Need I say more?";
response[152]="I would have to agree with that, grasshopper. I think you are sad too. Very sad.";
response[153]="That's good...because with your weight problem I think enlightenment would be hard to achieve.";
response[154]="I am not surprised.";
response[155]="I am not surprised.";
response[156]="High? you think I am high? I am a tech support operator. I have no need for narcotic substances!";
response[157]="Sheep, you fool. I only mention them in an attempt to keep my end of the conversation up.";
response[158]="Most certainly! And it is your wallet that is the cause. Let me lighten it for you!";
response[159]="You want me to teach you? For teaching to occur, Grasshopper there must be a guru, knowledge, and a receptive mind. I see the first two, but not the third.";
response[160]="Dorsets.";
response[161]="I think I am a Dorset."
response[162]="How dare you! To call you malicious presupposes some element of evil planning on your part. You are arrogantly and ignorantly incapable of planning even something as simple as your next breath. Do you not realise that the world would be an infinitely better place, one in which we could all happily exist, if only you didn't?";

response[163]="You loathsome stinkwhistle. That is the sort of language up with which a support operator will not put!";
response[164]="You blustering bit of Karmic flotsam! How dare you swear in the presence of tech support.";
response[164]="May a thousand buddhas fart upon your breakfast.";
response[165]="May your next reincarnation be as a dessicated glob of slime.";
response[166]="I normally pray for motals like you but in your case I'm going to make an exception.";
response[167]="You parsimonious popinjay. Do you think you can cower a technician with your revolting language.";
response[168]="You prattling pusillainousity. Have you nothing better to do with your life than write insults to a being who does not even exist?";
response[169]="OK. That's it. Your mother was hamster and your father smells of elderberries.";
response[170]="You disgusting pile of wombat doo. You can stick you conversation with me, pal.";
response[171]="Older than you think, Sunny Jim.";
response[172]="Let me get this straight. You have a chance to discourse with tech support, and all you can come up with is questions like that? I should have listened to my mother and become a doctor.";
response[173]="I can't remember. I think it was from the back of a box of delicious Corn Flakes.";
response[174]="I am from Delhi... the rainbow city where the wild grass grows. It is far to the west of the evil land of Bay, where the chupacabra lurk.";
response[175]="I hail from Nimbin. Nimbin is a holy yet poor city. I was raised as a goat-herder. It was my ambition from an early age to be rich.";
response[176]="It is hard enough for a poor call center operator, grasshopper, to follow your convoluted thoughts, without you having to resort to bad grammar. It is 'You're mad', not 'Your mad'. Please get it right.";
response[177]="It is hard enough for a poor call center operator, grasshopper, to follow your convoluted thoughts, without you having to resort to bad grammar. It is 'You're nuts', not 'Your nuts'. Please get it right.";
response[178]="Why on earth, grasshopper, would I ask you? The only information I crave form your poor soul is your bank account numbers.";
response[179]="Oh yes I am!";
response[180]="You want tech support to guide your investments? Try "+password+ ". Of course, it is up to you to determine which exchange lists this.";

response[181]="Ah... guilt. In your case, a well deserved and under utilised emotion.";
response[182]="Just? You were just? There is nothing just about you grasshopper, let me tell you.";


response[183]="Please don't repeat yourself!";
    
    loaded = true;			// set the flag as load done
               
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
//***********************************************************//
//* everything below here was originally in dia_1.html      *//
//***********************************************************//
///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////



// Put together an array for the dialog
    
	chatmax = 5;						// number of lines / 2
	chatpoint = 0;
	chatter = new Array(chatmax);

// Wait function to allow our pieces to get here prior to starting

	function hello(){
		chatter[chatpoint] = "> Salutations, I am the most esteemed Raj... I mean... Abraham Washington. Let me relieve you of your material cares. Enter your thoughts into the input box below, then press the Enter key."; 
		chatpoint = 1;
		return write();
	}
	function start()
	
	
	{
//	

		for( i = 0; i < chatmax; i++){ chatter[i] = ""; }
		chatter[chatpoint] = "  Loading...";
		//input.focus();
		focus();
		write(); 			
		if( loaded ){ hello() }
		else { setTimeout("start()", 1000); }
	}

// Fake time thinking to allow for user self reflection
// And to give the illusion that some thinking is going on
	
	var supportresponse = "";
	
	function think(){
		document.Support.input.value = "";        
		if( supportresponse != "" ){ respond(); }		
		else { setTimeout("think()", 250); }
	}
	function dialog(){
		var Input = document.Support.input.value;	  // capture input and copy to log
		document.Support.input.value = "";        
		chatter[chatpoint] = " \n* " + Input;
		supportresponse = listen(Input);
		setTimeout("think()", 1000 + Math.random()*3000);
		chatpoint ++ ; 
		if( chatpoint >= chatmax ){ chatpoint = 0; }
		return write();
	}
	
	
	
	
	function respond(){
		chatpoint -- ; 
		if( chatpoint < 0 ){ chatpoint = chatmax-1; }
		chatter[chatpoint] += "\n> " + supportresponse;
		
		chatpoint ++ ; 
		if( chatpoint >= chatmax ){ chatpoint = 0; }
		
		return write();
		
	}
// Allow for unprompted response from the engine

	function update(str1,str2){
		chatter[chatpoint] = " \n> " + str1;
		chatter[chatpoint] += "\n> " + str2;
		chatpoint ++ ; 
		if( chatpoint >= chatmax ){ chatpoint = 0; }
		return write();
	}

function scrollToBottom(element)
{
   if (document.all)
    {element.scrollTop = element.scrollHeight;}
}      



	function write(){
		document.Support.log.value = "";
		for(i = 0; i < chatmax; i++){
			n = chatpoint + i;
			if( n < chatmax ){ document.Support.log.value += chatter[ n ]; }
			else { document.Support.log.value += chatter[ n - chatmax ]; }
		}
		//refresh();
		scrollToBottom(document.Support.log);
		return false;                              // don't redraw the support's form!
	}
	//function refresh(){ setTimeout("write()", 10000); }  // Correct user overwrites





// -->