Inherent loathsomeness [1-10]: Uh, it's Donald Trump and Rosie O'Donnell …8
Misdeeds [1-10]: The Donald hates the Rosie. The Rosie hates the Donald. The Donald loves the sound of his own voice. The Rosie loves the sound of her own voice. You two just get married already!
Ok, so Rosie made fun of Trump's hair and his bad business decisions. Trump fired back [Get it? "Fired" like "you're fired" Trump's catch phrase] with a press release saying Rosie was fat or something and that Barbara called him to say that Rosie was indeed fat. I heard that Rosie shivved Barbara backstage this morning.
I really can't help but feel that the real victim here is Joy Bahar …6
Mitigating factors [1-10]: It will undoubtedly bring about the downfall of everyone involved …6
Cultural saturation [1-10]: Entertainment tv shows LOVE this story. It's got the people everyone loves to hate so every jackass thinks he should add his voice to the mix... oh wait …8
Bonus points [1-10]: Trump sent a letter with the following postscript, "I was surprised that you let your spat with Barbara get into the newspapers, but, as I have always said and as you proved with Rosie, the magazine, you are very self destructive. You need to work on this for your own good!" …6
Inherent loathsomeness [1-10]: She has the largest forehead of anyone (aside from Brandy), yet she is still a supermodel… 8
Misdeeds [1-10]: This curvaceous airhead has made millions prancing around in next to nothing, now that she’s retired, she just wants to help the rest of us with her new talk show. Tyra takes on the most important issues facing American women such as “Do people tell you your look is over the top or that you wear too much makeup?” and “Are you a woman whose always falling for gay men?” and let’s not forget “Do you make it a habit of calling your ex after a night of partying?” Last week she paid a doctor to feel her up in front of a live audience to prove to the world that she doesn’t have breast implants. Move over Oprah… 7
Mitigating factors [1-10]: She looks pretty good in a bra and panties…4
Cultural saturation [1-10]: She’s in your mail box on the cover of the Victoria’s Secret Catalog and any number of other girly mags. She’s got “America’s Next Top Model” and “The Tyra Banks Show”, and, as if that weren’t enough, she has been making the rounds on talk shows. Saw her spouting annoyingness just last night on Leno. There are a bazillion websites dedicated to her. The woman is more omnipresent than god…10
Bonus points [1-10]: She spent one day in a fat suit and then made other overweight women, (who can’t zip out of it at the end of the day), comfort her on national television because she was sooooooo traumatized. Poor fucking baby!… 8
Inherent loathsomeness [1-10]: They’re made by Glad, and I am a Reynolds girl. They’re like the Coke and Pepsi of the disposable plastic and foil…wrapping. Things. And bags. Whatever. With Reynolds being the Coke of the two (obviously), and Glad being the Pepsi of the pair. Coke (Reynolds) is it. Pepsi (Glad) is for suckers...7Misdeeds [1-10]: They will never. Ever. Dry in the dishwasher. You will take them out and they will be all covered in water, talkin' about, "Hey, guess what? Not only am I still wet as wet can be without being water itself, but also there is no possible way you will get me dry with a towel, since you cannot, unless you have needle fingers, get under the lip or into my lid's many crevices. HA!" Also, although they don't say the name directly, you KNOW they are trying to bust on Tupperware, which is completely retarded. Tupperware : reusable plastic containers as Dr. Dre : rap music...8
Mitigating factors [1-10]: They do hold food. And are pretty cheap...8
Cultural Saturation [1-10]: Watch the ladies say, "Don't get mad, get GLAD!" Watch your co-worker microwave his leftover spaghetti in a Gladware® container. Watch that friend of yours, whose husband makes lots of money, as she throws away her Gladware® after only one use. (Bitch!) Watch yourself stacking the clean Gladware® into the dish drainer, where it will take approximately 2 days to dry. Don't forget that the stack will keep falling down and clattering to the floor every five fucking minutes because the plastic is slippery and wet...7
Bonus points [1-10]: Since Tupperware parties have been taken over by lingerie parties and purse parties and Pampered Chef parties and sex toy parties, poor Tupperware didn't stand a chance. At least Gladware® allows us to continue the tradition of asking, when confronted with leftovers after a family meal: "Do you want me to Tup it?"...4
Inherent loathsomeness [1-10]: She was home-schooled… 6Misdeeds [1-10]: This pod-child has made quite a career [20 films in 11 years] out of being just like that annoyingly, syrupy-sweet “Jerry Maguire” kid. She’s like a baby Renee Zellweger, tilting her head, squinting her eyes and speaking wisdom beyond her years as American movie-goers shake their collective head in a kids-sure-do-say-the-darndest-things kinda way… 7
Mitigating factors [1-10]: She’s taller than her “War of the Worlds” co-star, Tom Cruise, and she’s bound to go through her awkward teenaged phase any day now… 3
Cultural saturation [1-10]: She is in every movie due to come out this Christmas… 9
Bonus points [1-10]: She has a younger sister, also an actress. We must stop them before they become the Olson twins… 5
