From: Drew

Dear Becky,Should I shave my head?

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Dear Drew,

It’s tough to give you a good answer here, but, based solely on unknown factors, I will try.

1. Factor: Head shape. Do you have a crazy big head or a crazy-shaped head or a head full of dents and bulges? Then the answer is: NO.

2. Factor: Bouncerness. Do you look like a bouncer? Then the answer is: YES (Even if you have a weird head. However, see #3 for exception to this rule).

3. Factor: Amount of hair. Are you balding? Then the answer is: IN MOST CASES, YES. Cases in which you should not will be obvious. These cases include, but are not to the following: you are from Connecticut (not allowed), you are a Hasidic Jew (gotta rock the ringlets), you work at an indie record store (played out), you don’t want your co-workers to find out you work as a bouncer at a "gentlemen’s club" on the weekends to help pay for your new bangin’ sound system (too obvious).

4. Factor: Tranny/queeny. Are you a tranny or a drag queen? Then the answer is: YES. Just think about how much easier it will be to get your wig to lay just right!

I hope this helps, Drew. That’s what I’m here for. To help. People make decisions about their hairstyles.

Back it up!
Becks

From: Discharge in Carney

Dear Becky,What is the best way to ask a potential sexual partner if they have any STDs, so that it won't be too uncomfortable and it will prompt them to be honest?-D.I.C.

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Dear D.I.C.,

This is an excellent question, and deserves a multi-part answer:

Part 1) The lamentation: You’re right to assume that someone might not mention they have an STD. He or she might not mention it because they are a) unaware, b) ashamed, c) an irresponsible asshole. It’s sad that STDs carry such a horrible, horrible stigma; you don’t have to be a bad, dirty person to get one. Stigma = shame = people not owning up to their STD(s) + not telling people they have sex with = EVEN MORE STDs. Terrible.

Part 2) The obligatory, common sense, perfect world response: you should not be having sex with a person if you are not comfortable talking about: birth control and STDs.

Part 3) The actual answer to your question: When it comes to (uh) sticky situations such as this, I don’t believe there’s any way to go besides the direct approach. Short. To the point. Without any hint of accusation.

“Hey, listen. I really like you, and I really like me, so I think we should both be perfectly honest here. I don’t have any STDs. With the knowledge that this information goes no further than this room, do you?”

AND THE FLIP SIDE:

“Hey, listen. I really like you, and I really like me, so I think we should both be perfectly honest. I have genital herpes.”

Part 4) The point being: The point being: get tested. There’s no other way to be sure. Think of how many states have mandatory testing for couples getting married. You’d assume that by the time two people are ready to walk down the aisle they’d have already covered that ground but…

Way to get all big serious on me, Discharge. And way to call yourself Discharge.

Becky

My aunt went to see Joe Cocker in concert years ago, and during the performance, he leaned over, sold a Buick*, and kept right on keeping on. I often think of blogs that way. Just moments ago, you had sung a soulful and stirring rendition of “Feelin’ Alright”, when suddenly, and without warning, you find yourself spraying the remnants of a ham sandwich and the better part of a fifth of Jim Beam all over your piano.

Hi. I’m Becky. If you look to your left, you’ll see a link there that says, “About Becky Mesh”. That’s me. Click and read up if you like. If not, if you prefer to allow things to unfold without reading the jacket of my virtual book, then I think we’ll become fast friends. I am completely anti reading of the book jacket. Or book back cover for that matter. Speaking of backs, that’s a photo of me at the top of the page. Answering the calls of those in need. Are you one of those people? Are you in need? I’m not going to give you any money or anything. I’m not talking about that kind of need, of course. The need I speak of is for that of an opinion (note: not specifically INFORMED). If you have that kind of need, then send a question for me upon which to opine. That’s what I like.

I especially like questions about:

- arcane sexual practices
- foot problems
- the over vs. under toilet paper debate
- things I can make fun of
- sex in general
- this list is all very corporeal, isn’t it?
- also: feelings, emotions, culture, etc.

Do write, will you? I’d appreciate it LIKE THIS. Just clicky the “got a question for Becky?” linky, and you’re all set.

Besos,
Becky

PS - Consider yourselves lucky: I do not drink Jim Beam or eat ham sandwiches.

* barfed