By Dallas Shelby
Editor-in-chief
So, you've managed to get yourself nominated for an Oscar. Sure it's
great just to be nominated, but what about the acceptance speech? What's
that? Can't write? Well, now you don't have to...
That's right, nominees! We here at the Pasquinade will write your speech
for you... automatically. How? Simply answer the 10 questions below,
click submit and the rest will be Academy history.
HOW IT WORKS
Our supercomputer - the PASJ2000S - deconstructed previous acceptance
speeches and developed the following questionnaire. Our crack team of
writers then set to work to produce a series of brilliantly scripted
speeches for each possible set of answers.
It's just that easy. Now you can spend time on the really important
stuff... like what to wear.
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